I Can’t Explain It

Where has the time gone? When I use to say this in the beginning it was with that familiar feeling of just filling in space with words that could be relatable. Time never stops is something we all can agree on. Now when I think about this question it is filled with the absence of children that brought so much to every day. The days are now missing their tiny arms hugging me in an embrace, their witty sometimes catty responses, and their demand to make every activity ‘fun’. I miss them. For a while the first day back it felt like something was wrong. I have not spoken nearly as much as I did before and my eyes are not scanning the room looking for the kids. When I was bombarded with this powerfully expressive presence that demanded my attention, although stressful, I was having fun. Now I am reminded of the beginning of my fellowship that consisted of research for future programs, sitting at a desk, and typing on my computer. My schedule is back to the typical 9 to 5 every weekday whilst during summer camp I left at 4 and was off Fridays. The lackluster effect after camp is starting to rear its ugly head. 

However, I love my office mates. At Lower Lights we share an office space with the church’s pastors and other co-workers that maintain other programs. Our office space is a container of jokes, happiness, and sarcasm that brings a smile to my face. In the beginning, I would walk up the stairs to the office space, but not anymore. I never noticed how I was running up the stairs to the offices until someone pointed it out. Running up every morning with a smile saying “GOOD MORNING”! I am sad that the kids are gone, but I am still happy with the people I get to work alongside. Their hearts are on their sleeves and their smiles are engraved in my heart.

This journey although coming to an end is transforming into friendships that will last well past my fellowship and I am forever thankful.

See you next time!

Ladan

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